In reading the story over again, I realize that the last story was really a moment that you had to witness to fully grasp the hilarity of the situation, but this story, is one that leaves more to the imagination than anything. I once took a charter of people out for a sea voyage, and they had it in mind that they wanted to go out at night, to see mermaids. Now, I don’t know what kind of stories they tell in New York City, but these people were bound and determined to find a mermaid. So of course, I agreed to take them out.
As the boat made it’s way out to the wide open waters, they group proceeded to tell me all the things I needed to know about mermaids, I assume because these people were professionals, and I was just a guy who was out on a boat for the last thirty or so years. I learned that mermaids didn’t like lighthouses, and that we had to be out at a specific point in the evening, at the moons zenith to be precise, in order to spot a mermaid. Now, I’ve been out on the waters for decades, and haven’t even heard a story about a mermaid, but I’ll be honest, the earnestness in which these people were telling me about mermaid sightings, I almost started to believe it myself. Maybe a part of me hoped that I would be able to see something that I didn’t even know existed, so that was enough to keep me involved.
We were out on the water, engines cut and feeling a steady loll of the waters as everyone sat in perfect silence and listening to the waves tickle the side of the boat. After about an hour of doing this, there was a large audible splash about twenty feet off the starboard side. This cause a small panic among the passengers as they all strained their eyes against the darkness of the open water to see what happened. We sadly had some overcast that night which made seeing very far an impossibility, but the group assured me that this was the best time to spot a mermaid.
Whatever caused the first splash was elusive enough that we sat there for the next fifteen minutes staring at nothing, and I have to admit, I was looking just as hard as these people were. The group leader then told us, that if the mermaid wanted to be seen, that they would make an obvious gesture. The sudden and loud bang on the bottom of the boat at that moment couldn’t have been any more perfectly timed, or make me want to jump out of my skin any more. The curiosity turned to a bit of fear as we sat huddled there, straining to hear anything, and yet nothing. To this day I’m still not sure what made that sound, but I keep my eye out for mermaids now as I make my way out.